Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror.

There was this woman see, and she takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Without her knowing, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet, where the little boy is also hiding.
The little boy says, “Dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes it is.”
Boy - “I have a baseball.”
Man - “That’s nice.”
Boy - “Want to buy it?”
Man - “No, thanks.”
Boy - “My dad’s outside.”
Man - “OK, how much?”
Boy - “$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover end up in the closet together.

Boy - “Dark in here.”
Man - “Yes, it is.”
Boy - “I have a baseball glove.”
Man - remembering last time, asks, “How much?”
Boy - “$750.”
Man - “Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your ball and glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball.”

The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.”

The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

The son says “$1,000.”

The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again!”

An elderly man, Willy, mimes driving a car as runs around the halls of a retirement home. An orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he’s doing.

Willy replies, “I’m going to Chicago for the weekend.”

The orderly chuckles and enters Bob’s room to check on him. He catchs Bob pleasuring himself, when asked what he is doing, Bob replies,”I’m screwing Willy’s old lady while he’s away in Chicago.”

A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween party but the wife had a terrible headache. She told her husband to go anyway. After a short argument he agreed, and she took some aspirin and went to bed.
Later she awoke and felt great, so she decided to go to the party and see what her hubby did when she wasn’t around. As soon as she arrived, she noticed him on the dance floor getting very friendly with every hottie in the place, and groping them when he could.

She then cut in and rubbed close to him. When the song ended, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Let’s go outside.” So the two costumed characters snuck off and occupied themselves in one of the parked cars.

Midnight was to be the unveiling of the party-goers, so she slipped out and went home before the clock struck twelve.

When he got home she asked, “How was the party? Did you meet any interesting people?”

He replied, ‘’You know me, dear. I don’t have a good time when you’re not with me. I ran into a few friends and we ended up in the basement playing poker. It wasn’t very fun at all. But the guy I loaned my costume to had the time of his life!”

Why are men just like carpet?

Once you lay ‘em right you can walk all over ‘em.