Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and unsuspecting
pubregulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink
from any woman. A new date rape drug on the market, called “beer,”
is used by females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is
generally found in liquid form, and is now available almost
anywhere. “Beer” is used by female sexual predators at parties
and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex
with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to
consume a few units of “beer” and then simply ask him home for
no-strings-attached sex.
Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several
“beers” men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts
on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be
attracted.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar
who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” the desk sergeant told him.
“No, no, no!” replied the man. “I want to know how he got into the
house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle
officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book,
she said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway
Patrolmen’s Ball.” He replied, “Highway patrolmen don’t have
balls.” There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he
realized what he’d just said. He then closed his book, got back
on his motorcycle and left.

Sitting on the edge of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car driving along at 22 M.P.H. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, said, “Officer, I don’t understand, I wasn’t doing over the speed limit! What did you pull me over for?”

“Ma’am,” the officer said, “You should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous”.

“Slower than the speed limit? No sir! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour”, the old woman said proudly.

The officer, trying not to laugh, explains that 22 is the route number, not the speed limit. A little embarrassed, the woman smiled and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“Before I go Ma’am, I have to ask, is everyone ok? These women seem badly shaken and haven’t said a word since I pulled you over.”

“Oh! they’ll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 142″ …

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”