Archive for the 'Old Age' Category



MAKES YOU THINK….


h1 Tuesday, July 19th, 2005

Take a guess of his age before you get to the end. Good luck.
How old is Grandpa?
Stay with this - the answer is at the end - it will
blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about
current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought
about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things
in general. The granddad replied, “Well, let me think a minute, I
was born, before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods,
Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill. There was no radar,
credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens. Man had not invented
pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, and the
clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn’t yet
walked on the moon. Your grandmother and I got married first-and
then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother. Until
I was 25, I called every man older than I, ‘Sir’-and after I turned
25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, ‘Sir.’ We
were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare
centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten
Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to
know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take
responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a privilege;
living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food
was what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship
meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who
closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing
meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends
not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape
decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.
We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President’s speeches
on our radios. And I don’t ever remember any kid blowing his brains
out listening to Tommy Dorsey. If you saw anything with ‘Made in Japan’
on it, it was junk. The term ‘making out’ referred to how you did on
your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, and instant coffee were
unheard of. We had 5 & 10 cent stores where you could actually buy
things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a
streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn’t want to
splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter
and 2 postcards . You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 but who
could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In
my day, ‘grass’ was mowed, ‘coke’ was a cold drink, ‘pot’ was
something your mother cooked in, and ‘rock music’ was your
grandmother’s lullaby. ‘Aids’ were helpers in the Principal’s office,
‘chip’ meant a piece of wood, hardware’ was found in a hardware
store, and ’software’ wasn’t even a word. And we were the last
generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have
a baby. No wonder people call us “old and confused” and say there is
a generation gap.
…and how old
do you think I am ???

SCROLL DOWN…….

.This man would be only 58 years old!

MEMO FROM A SENIOR CITIZEN….


h1 Tuesday, July 19th, 2005

TO: Those in our society who criticize seniors in our society for
every conceivable deficiency of the modern world.

FROM: The Seniors

MESSAGE: We take responsibility for all we have done and do not
blame others. BUT, upon reflection, we would like to point
out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:
-The melody out of music,
-The pride out of appearance,
-The romance out of love,
-The commitment out of marriage,
-The responsibility out of parenthood,
-The togetherness out of the family,
-The learning out of education,
-The service out of patriotism,
-The Golden Rule from rulers,
-The civility out of behavior,
-The refinement out of language,
-The dedication out of employment,
-The prudence out of spending, or
-The ambition out of achievement,
-Prayers & Christmas out of the public schools
-The acceptance of lying and deceit from presidents,
-And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and
tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!

Remember…….Inside every older person is a younger person wondering
what the heck happened!

THE OLD TURKEY HUNTER….


h1 Tuesday, July 19th, 2005

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check up and the
doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor
asked, “What do you attribute to your good health?”
The old timer said, “I’m a turkey hunter and that’s why I’m in
such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out chasing
turkeys up and down the mountains.”
The doctor said, “Well, I’m sure that helps but there has got
to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?”
The old timer said, “Who said my dad’s dead?”
The doctor said,”You mean you’re 80 years old and your dad’s
still alive? How old is he?”
The old timer said, “He’s 100 yrs old and in fact he hunted
turkey with me this morning and that’s why he’s still alive..he’s
a turkey hunter.”
The doctor said, “Well that’s great but I’m sure there’s more to it.
How about your dad’s dad…how old was he when he died?”
The old timer said, “Who said my grandpa’s dead?”
The doctor said, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your
grandfather’s still living! How old is he?”
The old timer said, “He’s 118 yrs old.”
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point and said, “I guess
he went turkey hunting with you this morning too?”
The old timer said, “No..Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because
he got married.”
The doctor said in amazement, “Got married!! What would a guy
118 years old want to get married for?”
The old timer said, “Who said he wanted to get married?

HOW TIMES CHANGE..


h1 Tuesday, July 19th, 2005

An older couple were in bed, and the husband was trying
to go to sleep. The wife felt like talking much to the husband’s
displeasure.

When we were courting you used to hold my hand, the wife said. So
the husband reached over held her hand for a moment and then settled
down to sleep.

Then you used to kiss me, she said. The husband sighed and rolled
over and gave her a peck on the check. He then tried to go to sleep
again.

After that you used to bite my neck, said the wife. The husband
angrily threw back the covers, and got out of bed. The wife said,
where are you going?

The husband replied, to get my teeth.

HOW TIMES CHANGE…..


h1 Tuesday, July 19th, 2005

n older couple were in bed, and the husband was trying
to go to sleep. The wife felt like talking much to the husband’s
displeasure.

When we were courting you used to hold my hand, the wife said. So
the husband reached over held her hand for a moment and then settled
down to sleep.

Then you used to kiss me, she said. The husband sighed and rolled
over and gave her a peck on the check. He then tried to go to sleep
again.

After that you used to bite my neck, said the wife. The husband
angrily threw back the covers, and got out of bed. The wife said,
where are you going?

The husband replied, to get my teeth.