Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

Hang a banana on a string in the cage, with stairs under the banana.
Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the
banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with
cold water.
After awhile, another ape will make an attempt, but the result will be
the same - all the apes will be sprayed with cold water. This should
continue through several more attempts. Pretty soon, when another ape
tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will all try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace
it with a new one. The new ape will see the banana and want to climb
the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes will attack him. After
another attempt and attack, he’ll know that if he tries to climb the
stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a
new one. The newcomer will go to the stairs and be attacked. The
previous newcomer will take part in the punishment.
Replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one will make it
to the stairs and be attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat
him will have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs,
or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes, which
have been sprayed with cold water, will have been replaced.
Nevertheless, no ape will ever again approach the stairs. Why not?
Because that’s the way they’ve always done it, and that’s the way it’s
always been around here.
And that’s how company policy begins….

I don’t know if these are “good reasons” but they work for me…

-It is well documented that for every minute you exercise, you add a
minute to your life. This enables you, at 85 years of age, to spend
anadditional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month!

-My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now
she’s 97 years old and we don’t know where the hell she is!

-The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear
heavy breathing again.

-I joined a health club last year and spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t
lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

-I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out
what I’m doing.

-I like long walks… especially when they are taken by people who
annoy me.

-I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

-The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

-If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small
country.

And last, but not least,
-I don’t exercise because it makes the ice jump
right out of my glass!

You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to
them!

At the annual company Christmas party, the staff decided to play a practical joke on their boss. When he went to the restroom, they (with his wife) went through his coat pockets and found his LOTTO ticket. Then they wrote down his numbers and called the waitress over to set up a little prank.
She came back half an hour later and asked if anyone wanted to know the night’s winning LOTTO numbers. She then proceeded to read them out loud before setting the numbers on the table.
The boss looked at the numbers, then casually pulled out his ticket from his wallet and compared the numbers. He became silent, put his wallet back in his jacket, sat down again, and checked the numbers very carefully.
Then he finished his drink, stood up on his chair and shouted out to the whole room, ‘I just want to let all of you know something. I don’t like any of you, and I have hated working for this company. You can all shove it, ‘cause I’ve just won a truckload of money, and I’m leaving this lousy job tonight!’
His wife fainted.

What`s the differences between the employee and his boss?

1. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
2. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.
3. When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.
4. When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you’re being rude.
5. When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
6. When doing something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority.
7. When your boss does the same thing, that’s initiative.
8. When your boss does the same, he appreciated women.
9. When your boss skips a few rules, he’s being original.
10. When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough.
11. When you take a long time, you’re slow.
12. When your boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked.
13. When you please your boss, you’re apple polishing.
14. When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
15. When your boss pleases his boss, he’s being co-operative.
16. When you have one too many drinks at a social, you’re a drunken bum.
17. When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
18. When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business.
19. When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
20. When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.

The boss asked a clerk working in his office,’Why didn’t you take leave due to you this year?’
‘Sir,’replied the clerk , ‘I needed some rest.’