Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

A pastor was giving the children’s message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children’s church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, ‘I’m going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is.’ The children nodded eagerly.

‘This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)…’ No hands went up. ‘And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)…’ The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised. ‘And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it’s excited (pause)…’

Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand. The pastor breathed a sigh of relief and called on him. ‘Well…,’ said the boy, ‘I *know* the answer must be Jesus…but is sure sounds like a squirrel to me!’

At a party, a woman was observing a child who would hold his chest whenever he bent down. After a few minutes, the woman asked the kid, ‘Why do you hold your chest whenever you bend down?’

The kid said, ‘One day, my teacher was writing on the board, the chalk fell down, and when my teacher bent down to pick up the chalk, I saw her lungs comes out of her chest.’

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:

‘Da-ad…’

‘What?’

‘I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?’

‘No. You had your chance. Lights out.’

Five minutes later: ‘Da-aaaad…’

‘WHAT?’

‘I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a drink of water??’

‘I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you!!’

Five minutes later… ‘Daaaa-aaaad…’

‘WHAT??!!’

‘When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.

Willie came up to the teacher’s desk and said, ‘Miss Francis, I ain’t got no crayons.’

‘Willie,’ Miss Francis said, ‘you mean, ‘I don’t have any crayons.’ You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at?’

‘Not really,’ Willie said, ‘What happened to all them crayons?’

A Sunday School teacher asked her class, ‘Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?’

A small girl replied, ‘Aren’t those the sins we should have committed, but didn’t?’