Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, “Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?” He says, “Why? Are my eyes bulging?”

Three men, an Englishman, a frenchman and an american, are walking along a beach together one day. They see a lantern and a genie pops out of it saying,’i will give each of you one wish.’
‘Oh boy,’ says the yank. ‘I want me a pick-up truck.’
In the blink of a genie’s eye, a brand new pick-up truck appears before them,with a gold plated grill, alligator-hide seats and flames down the sides.
The frenchman, amazed, says, ‘i want a wall around france, so no-one can enter our country.’
Suddenly, a huge fall appears around the frenchman’s precious country. The englishman says,’i'm curious. tell me more about this wall.’ ‘well,’ the genie explains, ‘it goes all around france, its about 150ft high and about 50ft thick, and nothing can get in or out.’
‘Right,’ says the englishman. ‘i want to fill it up with water.’

An old lady goes to the pet store and want’s a bird.
She asks the store owner for a bird that she can take to church.
He goes in the back and gets this bird and say “this bird know almost all the english langugage”.
She teaches the bird for a week to sing some of the churches songs.
So he goes into church and thhe bird lowers it head and says in the women’s ear “it’s fucking cold in here”.
She holds his mouth shut and runs out to make sure that father Davis does not here. She teaches him for two weeks now to not cruse.
She goes back again and the bird says it again. “it’s fucking cold in here”.
This time she runs to the pet store and she tells the owner “the bird you sold me will not stop crusing”.
He says” that there is an old African way to make a bird stop crusing. You hold them by there feet and what ever they sayed that they think was bad, they will never say it again”.
So no she goes back to church the next week and the bird does it again. “it’s fucking cold in here”.
The old lady takes the bird by his feet and she spins him around in a circle and plops him on her shoulder and she says what do you have to say now.
The bird