Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

Everytime i pee my pants, i think of your ugly face.

The CIA passed out a test to see who would fit in their assassin program. three people passed and were sent to a room. an agent walked into the room, came up to the first guy and said, “This is a test to determine your loyalty to your country. Your wife is in the next room and what will happen is we’ll give you a gun, and you must kill her with it.” the first guy enters the room, and two minutes later, he comes out of the room crying, saying, “I can’t kill my wife. I love her so much. I just can’t do it.” The agent says, “Sorry, but you don’t belong in the program.” The agent goes up to the second guy and says, “This is a test to determine your loyalty to your country. Your wife is in the next room and what will happen is we’ll give you a gun, and you must kill her with it.” the man enters the room, and ten minutes later comes out saying, “I can’t do it. I love her too much.” The agent comes up to the third guy and tells him the same thing he told to the other two. the third man enters the room, and an hour later, accompanied with sounds of shooting, smashing and screaming, comes out of the room, saying, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was full of blanks, so i had to beat the bitch to death with the chair.”

what do you get when you add barnie to a pack of C4

a dramatic decreace in suicides

A zebra is wondering if God made him with Black with white stripes or White with Black stripes so he goes to the guard and asks him. The guard says “I dunno ask Jesus.” So the Zebra asks him the same question. Jesus replies. “I dunno ask my father” So the Zebra goes to God and asks him the same question. God says. “You are what you are” The zebra ponders this for a sec. What was that supposed to mean. So as he’s passing the guard the guard asks “What did he say?”
The Zebra thinks “He said ‘You are what you are’ What the heck is that supposed to mean?”
The guard nods “You’re white with black stripes.”
The zebra asks “How do you know that?”
The guard declared. “If you were white with Black stripes God would have said you are what you are. If you were Black with White stripes, God would have said, you is what you is”

Little boy had a bad day at school, stomping through the yard he kicks the cow, after a few more steps he kicks a pig.

His mother watching said ” Young man, just for that you don’t get any beef or pork for a week!”

Just then his father comes up to the porch, going up the steps the dad kicks the cat.

The little boy turns to his mother and asks, “Are you going to tell him or should I??