Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

There’s this kid who lives on a farm. He comes home from school, in a really bad mood. He sees a pig and kicks it. Then he sees a chicken and kicks that. Then he walks into the house.

“I saw you kick those animals”, his mother said, “For kicking the pig, you’ll have no bacon for a week. For kicking the chicken, you’ll have no eggs for a week.”

The kid’s about to say something, when his father walks in the door, also in a foul mood, and kicks the cat.

The kid says to his mother, “You want to tell him, or should I?”

A keen country lad applied for a salesman’s job at a city department
store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get
anything there. The boss asked him, “Have you ever been a salesman
before?”

Yes, I was a salesman in the country” said the lad. The boss liked
the cut of him and said, “You can start tomorrow and I’ll come and
see you when we close up.”

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally
5 o’clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, “How
many sales did you make today?”

“One,” said the young salesman.

“Only one?” blurted the boss, “most of my staff make 20 or 30
sales a day. How much was the sale worth?”

“Three hundred thousand dollars,” said the young man.

“How did you manage that?” asked the flabbergasted boss.

“Well,” said the salesman “this man came in and I sold him a
small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large
hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a
huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said
down the coast.

I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat
department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines.
Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I
took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser.”

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, “You sold
all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?”

“No,” answered the salesman “He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his
wife and I said to him, ‘Your weekend’s shot, you may as well go
fishing.’”

A keen country lad applied for a salesman’s job at a city department
store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get
anything there. The boss asked him, “Have you ever been a salesman
before?”

Yes, I was a salesman in the country” said the lad. The boss liked
the cut of him and said, “You can start tomorrow and I’ll come and
see you when we close up.”

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally
5 o’clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, “How
many sales did you make today?”

“One,” said the young salesman.

“Only one?” blurted the boss, “most of my staff make 20 or 30
sales a day. How much was the sale worth?”

“Three hundred thousand dollars,” said the young man.

“How did you manage that?” asked the flabbergasted boss.

“Well,” said the salesman “this man came in and I sold him a
small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large
hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a
huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said
down the coast.

I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat
department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines.
Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I
took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser.”

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, “You sold
all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?”

“No,” answered the salesman “He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his
wife and I said to him, ‘Your weekend’s shot, you may as well go
fishing.’”

On a sunny day, two fathers and two sons went fishing.
Each one of them caught one fish.
When they went home, there were only three fish.
why?

Because a grandfather, a father and a son went fishing.

Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams.

“I dreamed I was on vacation,” one man said fondly. “It
was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake.
What a dream.”

“I had a great dream too,” said the other. “I dreamed I was
in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life.”

His companion looked over and exhorted, “You dreamed you had
two women, and you didn’t call me?”

“Oh, I did,” said the other, “but when I called, your wife
said you’d gone fishing.”