Dubya’s SAT Score
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
Q. What did George W Bush get on his SAT’s?
A. Drool.
Archive for the 'College Jokes' Category
Feel the Hot Burn of Shame!!!
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
Did you hear the one about the Catholic porn film?
It was 10 minutes of sex and 50 minutes of guilt.
Ex-Lax, Don’t Do It
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
Why are men like laxatives?
Because they irritate the crap out of you!
Turtles and Picnics and a Minor Tragedy
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there.
By the time they do arrive, everyone’s whipped and hungry. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and realizes that they forgot to bring a bottle opener. Joe & Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it, but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing that they’ll eat everything by the time he gets back.
Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles’ graves that they won’t touch the food. So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steady.
Twenty days pass, but no Poncho. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes, and still no Poncho, but a promise is a promise. After three more days pass without Poncho in sight, Steve starts getting restless. “I NEED FOOD!” he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.
“NO!” Joe retorts. “We promised.”
Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Poncho probably skipped out to the Burger King down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant, Poncho pops out behind a rock.
“Just for that, I’m not going.”
Door-to-Door Sales Crap
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, “Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don’t do wonders cleaning this up, I’ll eat every chunk of it.”
She turns to him with a smirk and says, “You want ketchup on that?”
The salesman says, “Why do you ask?”
She says, “We just moved in and we haven’t got the electricity turned on yet.”