Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

What do the female reindeer do on Christmas Eve when the
males are away pulling the sleigh ?

They go to town and blow a few bucks-

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at
a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny
new bike. The cop said to the kid, “Nice bike you got
there. Did Santa bring that to you?”

The kid said, “Yeah.”

The cop said, “Well next year, tell Santa to put a taillight
on that bike.” The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a
$20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid took the ticket. Before he rode off he said, “By
the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring
that to you?”

Humoring the kid, the cop said, “Yeah, he sure did.”

The kid said, “Well next year tell Santa to put the dick
underneath the horse, instead of on top.”

Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his
wife was becoming routine and boring.

“Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don’t you try
‘playing doctor’ for an hour? That’s what I do,” said Irving.

“Sounds great,” Morris replied, “but how do you make it last for
an hour?”

“Just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!”

Where the old tradition of putting an angel on top of a Christmas
tree came from:

Santa was having a bad day. Mrs Claus was nagging and had PMS. The
elves were working slowly due to rotating strikes and picket lines.
There were serious assembly problems. Claus’s daughter required
expensive dental care after biting down on her tongue ring. Rudolf
was getting old and stodgy, and was having elimination problems.
And Claus himself put his back out working out at the local Fitness
World. In the midst of all this a shimmering angel arrived one
evening with a lovely tree. As Claus answered the door,frowning and
muttering, the angel smiled and said “Merry Christmas, Santa! Here’s
your tree. Where do you want me to stick it?”

Three guys kick the bucket on Christmas Eve and ascend to
heaven where they are met by St. Peter.

“In honor of the season”, St. Peter says to them, “you must
each possess something that symbolizes Christmas.”

The first man fumbles through his pockets and pulls out two
lighters. He holds them up proudly and flicks them on.

“What do they symbolize?”, St. Peter asks him.

“They’re candles!”

“Ah! You may pass through the pearly gates!

The second man fumbles through his pockets and pulls out
a couple sets of keys. He holds them up proudly and shakes
them.

“What do they symbolize?”, St. Peter asks.

“They’re bells!”

“Ah! You may pass through the pearly gates!”

The third man fumbles desperately through his pockets,
finally pulling out a skimpy pair of silky woman’s panties.
He holds them up proudly.

“What do they symbolize?”, St. Peter asks.

“They’re Carol’s!”