Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
3. IF THEY DON’T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN’T GOING.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,SEEKS FROG.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
7. DON’T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
10. I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE… WHO CARES?
12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES
13. AND YOUR POINT IS?
14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
15. OF COURSE I DON’T LOOK BUSY…I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
19. I’M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON’T GO AWAY?

Her car breaks down on the Interstate one day, so the driver
eases it over onto the shoulder. She carefully steps out of
the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats,
who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing
on-coming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing
themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the
worst pile-ups in the history of this highway occurs.

It’s not very long before a police car shows up. The cop,
clearly enraged, runs toward the driver of the disabled
vehicle yelling, “What the hell is going on here?”

“My car broke down,” says the lady, calmly.

“Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?”
Screams the cop.

“Those are my emergency flashers!” she replied!

What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?

Save Water - Take a bath with your neighbor’s daughter

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

If you are psychic - think HONK

I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats

Keep honking, I’m reloading

Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else

As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in public schools

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Honk if anything falls off

I are proud to be a college student

CAUTION: Your daughter might be on board

Hang up and drive!

Welcome to America ….. Now speak English

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Heart Attacks…God’s revenge for eating His animal friends.

Guys…just because you have one, doesn’t mean you have to be one.

Don’t like my driving? Then quit watching me.

Save your breath…You’ll need it to blow up your date.

Some people just don’t know how to drive…I call these people: Everybody, But Me.”

If you can read this…I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

The proctologist called…they found your head.

Impotence…Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings.”

Try not to let your mind wander…It is too small and fragile to be out by itself

HONK IF PARTS FALL OFF

For a small town, there sure are a lot of assholes!

“If ass holes could fly, this place would be an airport!”

Honk to see finger!

“Better a blow job, than no job!”

My Otha Ride is YO MOMMA!

Work hard, the people on welfare depend on you!

I used to have a handle on life…but it broke off.

Everyone has a photographic memory…some just don’t have any film.

Jesus loves you…but everyone else thinks you are an asshole.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.