Monday, July 18th, 2005
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.
‘What’s the matter?’ grumbled the boss. ‘Haven’t you got a sense of humor?’
‘I don’t have to laugh,’ she replied. ‘I’m leaving Friday.’
Monday, July 18th, 2005
Difference between Reality & Appearance
Appearance: You are furiously taking notes while conducting an important telephone marketing survey.
Reality: You are pretending to take notes while talking to your friend who has called collect from Timbaktoo.
Appearance: You are at your computer writing a serious business memorandum to your department supervisior.
Reality: You are at your computer telling dead-baby jokes to your e-mail correspondent in Jharkhand.
Monday, July 18th, 2005
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him: Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?
The crow answered: Sure, why not.
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate him.
Then the crow thought: Poor rabbit, I forgot to tell him that if you want to do nothing, you must be seated higher.
Monday, July 18th, 2005
The president of a large corporation opened his directors meeting by announcing, ‘All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to propose will reply by saying, ‘I resign.'’
Monday, July 18th, 2005
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:
Leaps tall building in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Discusses policy with God.
PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with God.
EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
Talks with God if special request is approved.
VICE PRESIDENT:
Barely clears a Quonset hut.
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.