Pregnant Tree
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
How does a tree get pregnant?
By a woodpecker!
Archive for the 'General' Category
NINTH SYMPHONY….
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
The Boston Symphony Orchestra was performing Beethoven’s
Ninth Symphony. In the piece, there’s a long passage,
about 20 minutes, during which the bass violinists have
nothing to do.
Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid, some
bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next
door for a drink. After slamming several beers in quick
succession, one of them looked at his watch. “Hey! We need
to get back!” he cried.
“No need to panic,” said a fellow bassist. “I thought we might
need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the
conductor’s score together with string. It’ll take him a few
minutes to get it untangled.”
A few moments later, the drunk musicians staggered back into
the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra.
About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor
seemed a bit edgy. She pointed this out to her date.
“Well, of course,” said her companion. “Don’t you see? It’s the
bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded.”
Car Stickers
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
I may be a cold hearted and a unloving bitch, but I’m damn good at it
How am I driving? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS
I’m not an alcholic
Alcoholics go to meetings
I am a drunk
NO FAT CHICKS!
Dont laugh at my ride, your daughter may be in it!
Horn broke watch for finger
I’m not pshycotic, I cant read your mind.
Keep staring I might do a trick.
Chicks dig my ride.
I found Jesus… he was behind the coach the whole time.
I didn’t sell my soal to satan…… but we did work out a rent to own deal.
Dyslexic satan worshipers think they’re worshipping Santa.
I haven’t been the same since that house fell on my sister.
Everyone has the right to be stupid