Unique Jokes.com, A funny blog…

You never go out in the cold with wet hair.
Loud music irritates you because sometimes you just want the “peace and quiet.”

You proudly use coupons and buy generic brand foods instead of brand name ones because it’s a dollar cheaper. (ie: CVS brand “Salted Crackers” vs. Saltines).

You can watch The Food Network, The Shopping Channel and endless infomercials for hours.

You always check the weather before leaving.

You’re always rushed and still always late.

You complain of heartburn.

You’ve become incredibly controlling in your shared kitchen and get very upset when others don’t do things the way you want it.

You’re obsessed with making lists and using Post-It notes.

You dip your challah into your soup/fish juice/meatball sauce and eat all the meat off your chicken bone because “no food should go to waste.”

Your joints start hurting you.

You wear an apron to cook and a robe on Friday nights.

You laugh at your own jokes because you’re the only one who gets them.

You secretly own a Jane Fonda, a Richard Simon’s workout video, or some sort of Ab-roller you bought off an infomercial.

You force your guests to eat the food you cooked… and to take seconds.

You cry at everything, including Oprah, ripped stockings, weddings, and traffic.

You save everything, including grocery receipts, old Rosh Hashanah cards from people you never talk to anymore, pens with no ink, and a spoonful of leftover rice from dinner.

You ask people to repeat what they just said because you’re losing your hearing.

Your room is an organized mess.

You can’t remember anyone’s names and everyone you meet is starting to look alike.

You blame everyone else for losing/moving the things you misplaced.

You call your siblings by other siblings’ names (especially when in a fight).

You meet your “girlfriends” to get manicures and pedicures together and to check out the latest sale on bras.

Not only do you watch soap operas, but you tape-record them too.

You brag to your friends about your latest bargain.

Your body does not let you ’sleep in’ anymore.

Your recipes now consist of only 4 ingredients and take only 5 minutes to prepare.

Your PMS symptoms are much like your mom’s menopause symptoms.

You dash out of the house to “run a couple errands.”

You talk to yourself all the time.

You talk to yourself all the time.

You talk to yourself all the time.

You never eat the food you cooked at a meal because you “already ate too much when you made it.”

You drive 2 miles out of the way for cheaper gas.

You’re no longer embarrassed to crave geflilte fish, talk about being bloated from PMS, or pick your nose with a tissue in public.

You receive at least 5 catalogs a month and shop from none of them.

You check to see if your roommate has fever by kissing her cheek and forehead.

You’ve started to acquire a “selective memory.”

You are the last person to leave every social event.

You’re too tired to go out