SENIOR PERSONAL ADS….
July 19th, 2005
Some “Senior” personal ads seen in Florida and Arizona newspapers:
FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80s, slim,5′-4″
(used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband
looking for someone to round out a six- unit plot. Dizziness, fainting,
shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga
and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our
hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a
dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel
candy.
BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my
Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the air guitar. If you
were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and
listen to my boss collection of eight-track tapes.
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can
remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair,
many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running
condition, but walks well.
(Who says seniors don’t have a sense of humor?)