SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE….
July 19th, 2005
My wife & I have the secret to making a marriage last:
Two times a week, we go out to a nice restaurant, have a
little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes
Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Sydney and
mine is in Melbourne.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her
way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long
time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and
an electric bread maker. Then she said, “There
are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!”
So I bought her an electric chair.
Remember .. Marriage is the number one cause
of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces
started with marriage.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first
name was Always.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I
don’t like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked,
What’s on the TV?” ..I said, “Dust!”
Why do Men die before their wives?
Cause they want to.
In the beginning God created the Earth and
then rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.