REDNECKS….
July 19th, 2005
The latest effort to drive the Taliban out of the mountains
of Afghanistan is to send in a team of Redneck Special Forces:
Bobby Joe, Bubba and Cooter, who are going with only these
instructions:
1. The limit is two.
2. The season ended last weekend.
3. They taste just like chicken.
We figure that should just about do it!
Speaking of Rednecks…
Did you hear about the guy from Alabama who passed away and left
his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can’t touch it
’til she’s 14.
How do you know when you’re staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you
call the front desk and say, “I gotta leak in my sink,” and the
front desk replies, “Go ahead.”
How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married? There is
dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in
West Virginia to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of
the high schools!
Where was the toothbrush invented? Mississippi. If it was
invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
A Georgia State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-75 and says to
the driver, “Got any I.D.?” and the driver replies “Bout wut?”
Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery? The
winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
Did you hear that the governor’s mansion in Alabama burned down?
Yep. Pert’near took out the whole trailer park. The library was
a total loss, too. Both books — poof! — up in flames and he
hadn’t even finished coloring one of them.