QUICKIES….
July 19th, 2005
Husband’s note on refrigerator to his wife:
Someone from the Guyna College called.
They said Pabst beer is normal.
Another Word Women Use:
THANKS A LOT
This is much different than “Thanks.” A woman will say,
“Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It
signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and
will be followed by the “Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask
what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell
you “Nothing.”
Q. Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A. Because it helps them to remember which end they need to wipe.
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor,
crawled painfully onto a stool, and ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked, “Crushed nuts?”
“No,” he replied, “it’s just arthritis.”
MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes; there’s no use
in two people remembering the same thing.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a
lot more willing to die.
A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their
first morning in Summer Camp. He was surprised to see one of the
youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked, “Why did you
bring an umbrella to camp?”
The kid answered, “Did you ever have a mother?
Q: Why is the section of a woman’s body between the breasts and
the hips called the waist?
A: Because another pair of breasts could easily fit there!