PERFECT REDSKINS TEAM….
July 19th, 2005
So Norv Turner had put together the perfect Redskins
team for ‘96. The only thing he was missing was a good
quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even
the high schools, and he couldn’t find a ringer quarterback
that would ensure a SuperBowl win. Then one night, watching
CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background,
out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian
soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand
grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards
away–ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a
group of about10 soldiers a good 110 yards away ka-blooey!
A car passes going 90 miles an hour–bulls-eye! Right
into it. “I’ve got to get this guy,” Norv says to himself.
“He has the perfect arm!”
So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great
game of football and the Redskins go on to win the SuperBowl.
The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of SuperBowl
XXXI, and when Norv asks him what he wants, all the
young man wants to do is to call his mother. “Mom,”
the young man says into the receiver, “I just won the
SuperBowl.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” the old woman says. “You
deserted us. You’re not my son.”
“I don’t think you understand, mother” the young man
pleads. “I just won the greatest sporting event in the
world. I’m in the middle of thousands of adoring fans.”
“No, let me tell you,” the mother implores. “At this
very moment, there are gun shots all around us. The
neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers
were beaten within an inch of their life last week,
and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight….”
The old lady pauses, in tears. “…I’ll never forgive
you for moving us to Washington.”