OBSERVATIONS….
July 19th, 2005
Wonder about those people who spend £2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
OK…so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs”, what does that make
the Tennessee Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one
enjoys it?
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.
Why do we say something is out of whack? What’s a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale
bread to begin with?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
depressed?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?
Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office in the
U.S.? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they
just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can
look for them while they deliver the mail?
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are
the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive