INSURANCE CLAIMS….
July 18th, 2005
The following are actual statements found on insurance
forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details
of an accident in the fewest possible words.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at
my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided
with a tree I don’t have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning
of its intention.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up
when I put my head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other
way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s
face.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number
of times before I hit him.
In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone
pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my
way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang
up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other
car.
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep
at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble
when my universal joint gave way causing me to have
an accident.
As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared
in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.
I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck
a pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into another
vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car
and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing
my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the
other side of the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run so I ran
over him.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced
off the roof of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy
in a small car with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was
later found in a ditch by some stray cows.