HOW IT ALL BEGAN….
July 18th, 2005
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of
Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of
Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long
of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far
from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without
ever leaving thy tent?” And Abraham did look at her as though
she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply
said, “How, Dear?” And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all
the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you
have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the
best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery
made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way
with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever
moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy. A man
named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham’s drum and was
accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot
Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites,
or NERDS for short. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at
the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one
noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one
Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the
land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only
with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.
Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken
over by others.” And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel,
or as it came to be known “eBay” he said, “we need a name that
reflects what we are,” and Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew
Owner Operators.” “YAHOO”, said Abraham. And that is how it all
began, It wasn’t Al Gore after all.