DRINKS…..
July 18th, 2005
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s
personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately,
they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance, down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her. She’ll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had four more years,
Alzheimer’s and term limits be damned.
Drink: White Zin
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually
has no clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is.
Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk…and
naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.
MEN: Then there is the male addendum to these rules.
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut.
Domestic Beer: He’s poor and wants to get laid.
Good Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Wine: He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated
image to help him get laid.
Whiskey: He doesn’t give two shits about anything but getting laid.
White Zin: He’s gay.