DEADLY SERIOUS VIRUS WARNING !!! ….
July 18th, 2005
This is deadly serious, so don’t ignore it.
Several new viruses have
been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout
the national system.
Beware of:
THE GEORGE BUSH Virus…(Causes your computer to
think it won the election, even though the mother-board and
father-board bought it.)
THE AL GORE Virus…(Causes your computer to just
keep counting)
THE CLINTON Virus…(Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive
with NO memory)
THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus…(Makes a new
hard drive out of an old floppy)
THE LEWINSKY virus…(Sucks all the memory out of
your computer, then emails
everyone about what it did)
THE RONALD REAGAN virus…(Saves your data, but
forgets where it is stored)
THE JESSE JACKSON virus… (Warns you constantly
about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately
reproducing files in the background)
THE MIKE TYSON virus…(Quits after two bytes)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus… (Your 300 mb hard drive
shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb)
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus…(Deletes all old files)
THE PROZAC virus…(Totally screws up your RAM,
but your processor doesn’t care)
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus…(Only attacks minor files)
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus…(Terminates some
files, leaves, but will be back) and last but not least……………
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus…(Reformats your hard
drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows)