SAVINGS….
July 15th, 2005
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its
burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of
getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll
get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world
end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass
them.
Laughing stock is really cattle with a sense of humor.
You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75%
of the world’s population.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Eating right. Staying fit. Die anyway.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man
to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
A shin is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public
schools.
When you’re swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your
cheek, that’s a moray!
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands
of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.