Real women’s responses
July 15th, 2005
The following are all replies that have been
included on British “Child Support Agency” forms in the section provided
for listing details about the child’s father:
I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child, as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if
this helps.
I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same
to me. I can confirm that he was wearing a Royal Green Jacket.
Regarding the identity of the father of my twins. Child A was fathered
by [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Child B
but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived
at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sex with a
man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted.
If you do manage to track down the father can you please send me his
phone number? Thanks.
I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW
that now has a hole made by my stiletto heel in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s
had it replaced.
I cannot tell you the name of child A’s dad, as he informs me that to do
so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for
the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by
my country. Please advise.
[name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can
you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CD’s?
From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney.
Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If
I’d have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at
[address given], mine might have remained unfertilised.