PINOCCHIO….
July 14th, 2005
One day, Pinocchio and his girlfriend were in bed doing what girls
and wooden boys do. As they were cuddling later, Pinocchio could
tell that something was bothering his girlfriend. So, he asked her,
“What’s the matter, baby?”
Pinocchio’s girlfriend gave a big sigh and replied, “You’re probably
the best guy I’ve ever met, but every time we make love, you give me
splinters.”
This remark bothered Pinocchio a great deal, so the next day he went
to seek some advice form his creator, Gepetto.
When Pinocchio arrived, Gepetto could tell something was bothering
Pinocchio, and asked him what the problem was. Pinocchio revealed
his dilemma to Gepetto.
Gepetto thought long and hard for a solution. Eventually, he suggested
that light sandpaper, then a buffing cloth application might be able
to “smooth” out Pinocchio’s relationship with his girlfriend. Pinocchio
graciously thanked Gepetto and went on his way.
Gepetto had not heard from Pinocchio for a while and therefore assumed
that buffing had solved all of Pinocchio’s problems. A few weeks later,
Gepetto was in town to have some blades sharpened at the hardware store
when he ran into Pinocchio. When he saw Pinocchio buying all the packs
of buffing clothes the store had in stock, Gepetto remarked, “So,
Pinocchio, things must be going pretty damn good with the girls, eh?”
and Pinocchio replied: “Girls, who needs girls?!!!!!!!!!!!!”