FUN READING….
July 14th, 2005
1. What’s the definition of a teenager?
God’s punishment for enjoying sex.
2. Define Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
3. What’s the difference between the Pope and your boss? The Pope
only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in
the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once and the seat folded up.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of
course, there’s shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who takes out the! trash and gives the
impression he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen — just vending machines.
10. The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work.
11. Americans are getting stronger Twenty years ago, it took two
people to carry ten dollars’ worth of groceries. Today, a
five-year-old can do it.
12. Blondie told her friend, “I was worried that my mechanic might
try to rip me off so I was relieved when he told me all I needed
was blinker fluid,”
13. Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing
pin? It won’t work and you can’t fire it.
14. I’m so depressed… I went to the Dr. today and he refused to
write me a prescription for Viagra. Said it would be! like
putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.
15. A neighbor of mine was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to
see how he was and found him writing furiously. I told him rabies
could be cured and he didn’t have to worry about a will. He said,
“Will, what will? I’m making a list of people I’m gonna bite.