CLASS ASSIGNMENT….
July 13th, 2005
A rural teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment to go
home and get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the
end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.
Kathy said, “My father is a farmer and we have a lot of
egglaying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in
a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in
the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.
The teacher said, “And what’s the moral of the story?”
“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!”
“Very good,” said the teacher.
“Now Lucy what is your story?”
“Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat
market. One time we had a dozen eggs that a hen was hatching, but
when the eggs hatched we only got ten live chicks.”
“And the moral to this story is,”
“Don’t count your chickens until they’re hatched.”
That was a fine story Lucy” the teacher said.
“Johnny do you have a story to share?”
“Yes, Ma’am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Fernando.
My Uncle Fern was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit by a
SAM missile. He had to bail out over enemy territory and all he
had was a bottle of Rumplemints, a machine gun and a machete. He
drank the Rumplemints on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then
he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy
of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he
killed twenty more with the machete ’til the blade broke and then
he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”
“My goodness,” said the horrified teacher. “What kind of moral did
your Daddy give you from that horrible story?”
Johnny smiled brightly and replied, “Don’t ever fuck with Uncle Fern
when he’s been drinking.”